Fear of "dying" kills sales: How beliefs, approval-seeking, and lack of curiosity derail deals

TL:DR: Sales people must not be afraid of losing potential customers. They must be able to ask difficult questions. That's how they earn respect and create value. All too often, however, they are afraid, which leads them to lose deals. What can organisations do to avoid this?

1- Understand the limiting beliefs of sales people, either when they are recruited or when they are in post. And work on these beliefs. 2- Assess the need for validation from strangers. The more sales reps need to be validated by their prospects, the more difficult it will be to implement a consultative sale. 3- Define what sales reps should be looking for. And develop their curiosity. Sales people need to know exactly what they're looking for. But this is rarely the case.

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"You mustn't be afraid to die..."

In the film "First Knight", starring Sean Connery and Richard Gere, there is a scene where Lancelot, played by Gere, challenges some villagers to a friendly duel. A tall, muscular villager turns up, a fight ensues and, of course, in the end, Lancelot disarms the villager. Astonished by his skill, the villager asks, "Is there a 'trick'?" After much advice, Lancelot concludes with a key message: "The challenge is not to worry about whether you live or die...".

In other words, fear makes you hold back. And puts you at risk.

It's the same in sales. All too often, salespeople are afraid of dying. They fear the "death of a salesman".

Of course, no salesperson has ever been killed by a prospect, and vice versa. But death for a salesperson is losing the prospect. Selling is about helping the prospect, not fighting him of course - Editor's note: too many people think that selling means fighting with the prospect. Nothing could be further from the truth. -. However, as we all know, most prospects prefer the status quo to change. In other words, many companies are happy to stay in a mediocre situation. Because change is difficult. There are a lot of investments to be made. And the most important investment is not the one that comes naturally to mind.

The three investments that prospects make

First of all, the obvious: financial investment. But it's not the most important investment. Contrary to popular belief, there is a lot of money available. So losing money is not the main problem for prospects. On the other hand, wasting time trying out a new product or solution that may or may not work is much more of a problem. Once time has been invested and wasted, it cannot be recovered. Unlike money. So prospects are afraid of wasting time.

But prospects could be losing something more important to them than time and money. It's their political capital within the organisation. They are afraid of introducing a product or service that would cause them to lose face. And therefore his political capital, his credibility within the organisation. Something that could cost him dearly, as well as future career opportunities. So sales people are there to build trust with their prospects so that they feel confident to invest those three budgets, money, time and internal capital. I can hear you saying: "Thank you, Captain Obvious". But to help potential customers, salespeople need to really understand them, and that's no easy task.

Sales reps can't rely on vague statements from prospects - "that's interesting", "we're looking into it", "it's important to us", etc... -. They must have an in-depth knowledge of the prospect's problems and their impact. If the prospect is really frustrated by the problem, if they are ready to change and be helped. And as we know, that's not always the case. The status quo is always lurking in the background.

This trust is built mainly, but not only, using the most powerful weapon salespeople have when dealing with potential customers. Not a sword, of course. Not a brilliant PowerPoint presentation. Nor a well-oiled demonstration. Trust is built by asking questions.

Some obstacles to building trust

But therein lies the problem I mentioned earlier. The fear of death. Because to really understand a prospect, the salesperson must be capable of asking difficult questions.

Salespeople must want to help their potential customers, while not being afraid to ask difficult questions, sometimes pointing out inconsistencies in prospects. Because these questions create value and challenge the status quo.

And this is no easy task. There are many barriers that prevent sales people from asking these questions, making them fearful or ineffective. Here are three areas companies can focus on to help salespeople perform better when interacting with prospects:

Understanding your sales people's limiting beliefs:

During a recent role play with a sales team, we were practising their questioning strategy. There are an infinite number of questions a salesperson can ask and we were working on why salespeople need to understand the answer to "what's in it for you personally, Mr Prospect". Because this helps salespeople to assess the prospect's real desire to change. And build a relationship of trust with the advisor.

One of the sales people was having trouble: "But I can't ask my prospect for this information? I've never asked a question like that, how can I?"

I repeat. This sales rep, a great guy of course, was worried about asking a prospect a question about what he would gain by buying his solution.

It's a classic. Repeated over and over again in many a sales call.

Where does the problem come from? A deep-seated belief. In this case, "it's not polite to ask a lot of questions". These self-limiting beliefs prevent sales people from asking difficult questions and, ultimately, make them fear "death". Other self-limiting beliefs include: "I have to make presentations", "I can live comfortably on my current income", "There's no need to ask prospects about their finances", and many more. I've written a white paper listing these limiting beliefs that prevent sales people from succeeding (you can download it here).

So what can organisations do to prevent salespeople from limiting themselves?

First of all, they need to identify these beliefs and develop a coaching culture. If a salesperson believes that "it's not right to confront a prospect", they will feel uncomfortable challenging a prospect who is being inconsistent. And they will lose business they should be closing.

There are assessment solutions that can help companies identify sales team headtrash - example below. Whether you're recruiting sales people or have an existing sales team, failing to understand their self-limiting beliefs is a big mistake that will cost you a lot of money over time. Ask me for more details if you want to understand your salespeople's beliefs or click here to arrange an assessment.

Solving the need for approval:

We are social animals. Originally, our survival depended on our ability to be accepted by the other members of the tribe. It was a matter of life and death. So we seek the approval of others. And this need for approval varies from person to person.

While it's not a problem in a personal context - we all need emotional validation - it is a problem in the workplace, particularly for sales people, because if they have a high need for approval, they'll want to please the prospect, answer all the questions, won't be able to challenge them, and therefore won't be able to create value. The need for approval is a major obstacle to sales effectiveness.

When I work with sales leaders and their teams, I always assess 21 sales competencies, usually grouped into three areas: Willingness to Sell, Sales DNA and Technical Skills.

Sales DNA is the set of traits that enable salespeople to implement your sales process and methodology. The need for approval is one of them (there are others such as the ability to talk about money or deal with rejection). What I see is systematic: those with a strong will to sell and good sales DNA outperform those who are weak on both fronts.

So let's say two candidates are assessed and they score the following on their need for approval. Which would you choose?

 Need of approval candidate A

Need approval candidate B

You'd choose candidate A, wouldn't you?

Obviously, ceteris paribus, as the economists say, all other things being equal, you'd choose the one who doesn't need the approval of strangers. Because if a salesperson needs to be approved by strangers, he or she will find it difficult to use his or her "weapon", namely difficult questions.

The good news is that sales skills can evolve.

So what can an organisation do to solve the 'need for approval' problem?

The good thing is that sales skills can evolve. Clearly, the best approach is to recruit people with a strong sales drive and commercial DNA to avoid wasting time. But it's also possible to develop this skill. So here are three things you can do as a sales manager:

• Quantify your sales people's (or candidates') need for approval. If you'd like, you can download samples here. Or, you can trial it on one of your sales team (get in touch for this) or, even more powerful, test it on three of your colleagues and ask me to do it (because you know them and will therefore be able to judge the validity of the approach).

• Implement a prospecting plan. When salespeople have a weak pipeline, they tend to rely on these few prospects to reach their quota. And the need for approval skyrockets.

• Teach them a way of communicating that helps them assert themselves without being pushy. Selling is a transfer of trust. This trust needs to be communicated in the right way, not insistently.

Not knowing what to look for and lacking curiosity:

The need for approval and limiting beliefs are what I would call attitude traits. Attitude is the key to sales success. At the organisational level, it all depends on the culture. At the individual level, it all depends on attitude.

Now let's talk about techniques. Let's imagine that I divide the readers of this newsletter into two groups, Group A and Group B, for a little competition. I show them the image below. Where is Wally, or Charlie as we call him in France?

To group A, I say: "You must find a young man". And to group B, I say: "You have to find Wally, the short dark-haired guy, he's got a red and white striped shirt and a hat". Who do you think will win? Group B, right?

The same goes for sales people. Most of them have no idea what they're looking for. Or only a vague idea. Too often, it's the fluke, the presentation, the demo and the superficial questions. But some of them know exactly what they're looking for. They know what questions to ask, what follow-up questions to ask, how to ask them, etc. .... I bet that if you put a salesperson in the first category against a salesperson in the second category, the chances are that the salesperson in the second category will win...

So what can an organisation do to solve the problem of curiosity?

Curiosity is essential in sales - I'm biased, it's the name of our company... Curiosity -. Three things can help:

• Define exactly what your sales people are looking for when they interact with prospects. Salespeople often like to talk about the super innovation in AI, technical features or the benefits it brings. These are all great things. But in a B2B world, the only reason people buy anything is because they have a problem (or they have a vision they want to implement and have identified obstacles to getting there). Identify your prospects' challenges.

• Define a questioning strategy to help them identify these challenges. Two things: teach salespeople not to jump down "what's your problem" throats - yes, salespeople still do that - and remember that prospects are on their guard, especially at the beginning of the process, when trust hasn't yet been established. And salespeople need to go beyond the intellectual statements prospects often make. There are ways of doing this (if you don't know what they are, let me know, I'd be happy to take a moment to discuss them)...

• Now comes the hard part. Teach your salespeople to listen. Listen carefully and intensely. The brain can process many more words than the mouth can produce. The average speaking speed of an English speaker is around 125 words per minute. The human brain can process around 800 words per minute. Nature abhors a vacuum. So the mind wanders. That's why salespeople, in particular, tend to prepare a response when they listen to a prospect. Instead of being curious about what the prospect is saying.

This is just an extract of what can be done to prevent prospects from being afraid of "dying". And rest assured, no salesperson has ever really died because of their limited beliefs, strong need for approval or lack of curiosity.

But the companies that have had such salespeople? The graveyards are full of them...