Do you need friends? Or do you need clients?

When L'Oréal bought The Body Shop, The Economist wrote an article saying: "L'Oréal's managers have a challenge on their hands. British and French working cultures mix like oil and water." Having lived in the UK for over 20 years, I think there is some truth in this statement. During my early years in London, I went through a massive learning curve: discovering the culture, learning the language (still in progress!), changing my working methods. And since my first job was selling technology at a leading telecoms company, I also had to familiarise myself with a whole range of new technologies. It was a rather fascinating time! But in my sales role, I didn't want to be too direct, for fear that the French approach would clash with British culture (as pointed out by The Economist). I remember a conversation with my manager about this very well. He insisted that I shouldn't be afraid to be direct with people. Polite but direct.

Now, when I observe how sales professionals operate, for example when I conduct sales audits to see if I can (or cannot) help them with various transformation programmes, I notice a kind of "friendly" approach in their interactions. Worse (warning: I'm being quite blunt here): a "goody, goody" approach. It gives the impression that the most important thing is to develop a friendly relationship with the prospect rather than determining whether or not we can help them. Mind you, there's nothing wrong with developing a relationship with our prospects; in fact, it's essential.

But here's the problem: last time I checked, friendships don't pay the bills. What pays the bills are customers who have problems, which we solve, and who, in exchange, give us some of their hard-earned money.

So with a prospect, there are two options:

1- Trying to develop a pleasant and friendly relationship, where things run smoothly but there is no clarity about actions or results, and where things can drag on. A relationship in which, if we realise for whatever reason that we cannot work together, neither party feels able to say to the other, "No, we won't work together. Sorry."

Or

2- Establish an effective process whereby both parties quickly reach a point where they understand whether there is a viable option that will resolve the issue. And each party knows that they can say "No" for any reason without the other party taking offence.

Do you need more friends and therefore follow option 1? I don't know about you, but I don't. Even though I have developed long-term friendships with my clients. But never, ever, with prospects who did not become clients. Even though we have, of course, remained on good terms.

To do this, it is useful to look for reasons to say YES, but above all to consider whether NO is the most likely outcome. In other words, it is just as useful to disqualify a prospect as it is to qualify them. This approach not only leads to efficiency but also shows respect for the other party.

Two useful things for this purpose:

1- Focus on the problems. It is essential to identify the problems facing the prospect and, throughout the process, the impact of the problem, the people affected, the impact of not solving them, etc.

2- Educate our prospect to make decisions and reassure them that saying no is okay. Very often, people think that saying "no" is rude, that it will offend the other person. Humans are social animals and care about the feelings of the people they interact with. The best way to handle this is to reassure the other party by tactfully telling them that it's okay to say no. That it won't be taken badly.

The Economist was right. French and British corporate cultures have their differences. But one thing I have learned is that, regardless of culture, there is much to be gained from being polite but firm.